An Open Letter To The Nervous New Mum

I see you, glancing over your shoulder to check if anyone's watching you as you anxiously focus on your first public nappy change. Your baby is screaming and your hands are a little shakey, you drop the wipes, you place one hand on your baby as you reach down to pick them up, I notice a tear in your eye and you notice me. You notice me, juggling two toddlers with a trolley full of groceries and you wonder how on earth someone could manage more than one baby. (I know, because I was you, 3.5 years ago.) You wipe your eye with your shoulder as you finish the nappy change, you head to the feeding chair as you aggressively pull across the curtains. They never hide much, but you do it anyway. I hear you fumbling, your baby screaming and I notice the silence as your baby finally latches. I feel your relief and I want to tell you.....it's going to be ok.

I know how it feels to be afraid to leave your house alone with your small baby. I know how it feels to doubt and second guess every tiny thing you do. I know how it feels to be so caught up in the bubble of newborn life it feels like there's no end in sight. I know it feels as though you're life has been flipped upside down and that you will never feel normal again, but I promise you, you will. Babies change our lives, toddlers change our life again and I have no doubt that adolescents, teenagers and young adults will change our life once more. As they change, so do you. Everyday you'll become a little more confident, everyday you learn and everyday you'll remember what made yesterday so difficult and you'll simply become more prepared. You see, this journey into motherhood is not just about your baby, it's also very much about you. Something I think we all seem to forget. Someone once told me, "The day a child is born, a Mother is also born." I can't think of a more fitting sentence. We have nothing to compare this life to. We're told it's difficult, we may have nieces and nephews, we may work with children daily but nothing can prepare you for the emotional attachment you experience with your own baby. Nothing can prepare you for the fatigue and the times we doubt our every move. After all, this is one job we simply can't get wrong. I want you to know, whether you believe it or not, you know this baby better than anyone in this world. No one could do a better job than you are doing for your baby. He needs you and although it may not seem like it now, in his eyes, you can do no wrong. Trust yourself Mumma, be gentle with yourself and breathe. Things will get easier, and while you're life will never return to the 'before kids' norm it will become normal, a new kind of normal and you'll embrace and enjoy each new change. Maybe one day you'll be the Mum with the two toddlers and a trolley full of groceries giving the new Mum, a gentle smile and a look of understanding. It's a tough job but my god, we wouldn't change it for the world and I promise you. There's nothing else quite like it xx